Jumaat, 5 Januari 2018
Sabtu, 30 Disember 2017
GET ON YOUR DEATH BED
A number of years ago when i was working with psychotherapist
Devers Branden, she put me through her "deathbed" exercise.
I was asked to
clearly imagine myself lying on my own deathbed, and to fully realize the
feeling connected with dying and saying good-bye. Then she ask me to mentally
invite the people in my life who were important to me to visit my bedside, one
at time.As i visualized each friend and relative coming in to visit me, I had
to speak to them out oud.I had to say them what i wanted them to know as i was
dying.
As i spoke
to each person, I could feel my voice breaking. Somehow, i couldn't help
breaking down.My eyes were feel with tears.I experienced such a sense of loss.It was not my own life i was
mourning ; it was the love i was losing.To be more exact, it was a
communication of love thad had never been there.
During this
difficult exercise, i really got to see how much I'd left out my life.How many
wonderful feelingsi had about my children,for example,that I'd never explicity
expressed.At the end of the exercise,i was an emotional mess.I had rerely cried
that hard in my life.But when those emotions cleared, a wonderful things happened.I
was clear.I knew what was really important, and who really mattered to me.I
understood for the first time what George Patton meant when he said, "
Death can be more exciting than life."
From that
day on i vowed not to leave to chance.I made up my mind never to leave anything
unsaid.i wanted to live as if i might die any moment.The entire experience
altered the way I've related to people ever since.And the great point of the
exercise wasn't lost on me: We don't have to wait until we're actually near
death to receive these benefits of being mortal. We can create the experienced
anytime we want.
A few years
later when my mother lay dying in a Hospital in Tucson,I rushed to her side to
hold her hand and repeat to her all the love and gratitude i felt for who she
had been for me.When she finally died, my grieving was very intense,but very
short.In a matter of days I felt that everything great about my mother had
enterd into me and would live there as loving spirit forever.
A year and a
half before my father death, i began to send him letters and poems about his
contributions to my life.He lived his last month and died in the grip of
chronic illness, so communicating and getting through to him in person wasn't
always easy.But i always felt good that he had those letters and poems to
read.Once he called me after I'd sent him a Fathers Day poem,and he said,"
Hey,I guess I wasn't such a bad father after all.''
Poet William
Blake warned us about keeping our thoughts locked up until we die."When
thought is closed in caves," he wrote," then love will show its roots
in deepest hell."
Pretending
you aren't going to die is detrimental to your enjoyment of life.It is
detrimental in the same way that it would be detrimental for a basketball
player to pretend there was no end to the game he was playing.That player would
reduce his intensity, adopt a lazy playing style, and of course, end up not
having fun at all.Without an end, there is no game.Without being conscious of
death, you can't be fully aware of the gift of life.
Yet many of
us (including myself) keep pretending that our life's game will have no end.We
keep planning to do great things some day when we feel like it. We assign our
goals and dreams to that imagenary island in the sea that Denis Waitley calls
"Someday Isle" in his book Psychology of Winning.We find ourselves
saying, "Someday I''ll do that."
Confronting
our own death doesn't have to wait until we run out of life.In fact,being able
to vividly imagine our last hours on our deathboad creates a paradoxical
sensation: the feeling of being born all over again - the first step to
fearless self motivation " people kiving deeply," wrote poet and diarist Anais Nin," " have
no fear of death."
And as Bob
Bylan has sung, "He who is not busy being born is busy dying."
credit to : STEVE CHANDLER & SCOTT RICHARDSON
Khamis, 28 Disember 2017
Selasa, 26 Disember 2017
KERENAH BIROKRASI..
Apakah itu kehidupan.Kehidupan ialah hidup yang
bertujuan.Banyak orang bersedia untuk hidup tetapi terkadang kebodohan usahanya
bukan untuk mencari hakikat kehidupan itu sendiri.Penulis amat terkesan dengan
artikel yang ditulis oleh Pahrol Mohd Juoi yang bertajuk ‘Kerenah Birokrasi’.Tersenyum
sendiri mengenangkan kebenaran yang terselit dalam alur ceritanya.Tidaklah
menafikan kepentingan birokrasi dalam memastikan kelancaran sesebuah sistem
namun terkadang ketergantungan yang keterlaluan pada birokrasi adalakalanya
menampakkan kasarnya hati dalam memperhalusi
sifat perikemanuasiaan.Jom kita ikuti ceritanya.
“Saya
orang miskin.Terlalu lapar,bantulah saya,”rayu seorang pengemis yang begitu
daif.Pegawai yang menjaga perbendaharaan merenung pengemis itu dari atas ke
bawah.”Betulkah awak orang miskin?”Tanyanya.
“Memang
tuan,lihat sahaja tubuh kurus ini.Tuan lihat sahaja pakaian saya yang buruk
ini,”balas pengemis itu lebih hiba.
“Tapi
sekarang ramai penipu,entah-entah awak salah seorang daripadanya.” “Tidak
tuan,tolonglah ,saya lapar.”
Pegawai
mencatat sesuatu di atas kertas. “Baiklah pada dasarnya saya terima aduan
awak.Tapi saya akan hantar juga pegawai khusus untuk menyiasat latar belakang
awak.”
“Latar
belakang saya?” “Ya.Awak tahu menulis?” Pengemis bertambah hairan.Kemudian dia
mengangguk-angguk “Bolehlah sedikit-sedikit.” “Kalau begitu,isi borang ini
cepat,”perintah pegawai tersebut.
“Saya
lapar tuan...”
“Sebab
saya nak bantulah awak kena isi borang ni terlebih dulu,”balas pegawai itu
lagi.
Setelah
borang diisi dengan keadaan terketar-ketar kelaparan pengemis merayu lagi, “Boleh
berikan saya sedikit makanan.”
“Oh,belum
lagi.Kelulusan hanya diberikan apabila pegawai penyiasat selesai membuat laporan
yang awak benar-benar miskin.Kemudian laporan itu perlu disahkan oleh Ketua
Perbendaharaan.”
“Berapa
lama semuanya akan selesai?”
“Terpulang
pada keadaan.Jika penyiasat cepat menyerahkan laporan dan kalau ketua kami cepat
membuat keputusan,bantuan akan segera diberikan.”
“Bantuan dalam bentuk apa?”
“Itu
pihak kewangan pula akan memutuskan.Sama ada diberi dalam bentuk wang atau
barang-barang keperluan.Selalunya pihak kewangan akan merujuk pula kepada pihak
operasi.”
“Pihak operasi?”
“Ya kami takut nanti bantuan kewangan disalahgunakan.Jadi
hal itu memerlukan kepastian yang lebih terperinci.”
“Bila agaknya saya dapat makan?Saya sudah tiga hari tidak
makan apa-apa.”
“Ya,saya faham tetapi kita perlu mematuhi kaedah pengurusan.”
“Berapa lama agaknya?”
“Paling cepat seminggu,tetapi terpulanglah pada keadaan...”
“Pengemis kecewa.Adakah ketika segala urusan selesai dia masih hidup untuk mendapatkannya?
“Pengemis kecewa.Adakah ketika segala urusan selesai dia masih hidup untuk mendapatkannya?
Pengajaran:Kaedah pengurusan yang bertindih dan terlalu
rumit akan menyebabkan tujuan asalnya tidak tercapai.Ramai yang merasakan “bekerja”padahal
dia hanya menyulitkan keadaan.Kerenah birokrasi yang terlalu banyak sering
menyebabkan kerja yang mudah,segera dan penting menjadi terbengkalai.
Nota tumit : Lafaz “saya faham” tidaklah melazimi tindakan
saya mahu memudahkan urusan anda atau saya akan menolong anda.Terkadang ia hanyalah
mainan kata yang diucapkan untuk menegaskan bahawa anda tidak punya pilihan
melainkan “menerima nasib anda” dan“ lakukan sekarang juga”.
Jumaat, 17 November 2017
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